Star Wars Episode 9: The Solaris speculation!

The Internet is still ablaze with fire that The Last Jedi lit within the Star Wars Community. I have to be honest, I disliked the movie too! 

For me the cardinal sin wasn’t that Captain Phasma didn’t get a bigger character arch or that Luke never had the chance to truly kick ass.

For me it’s that Rian Johnson really narrowed down what JJ can do in the next chapter and got lost story wise.

I still can’t believe that his script got approved and there wasn’t anyone around to flesh out a three part saga to begin with! If you are continuing the biggest and most love franchise in the world you would think that would have been the case…


The worst thing that could happen now is that JJ feels obliged to hit the reboot button yet again to bring back Snoke or undo other parts of The Last Jedi. As much as I disliked this movie, let’s just put on a brave face and move on! Otherwise this trilogy will feel even more like a mess. Let’s just hope JJ sparkles a little bit more nostalgia on everything than Rian Johnson was willing to do.

So the big question is of cause: Where do we go from here.

Snoke is no more, Luke is no more. Rey is on the run with the last of the resistance. Leia is still around. We got Poe, Finn and Rose also. There are some stashed away Jedi books. Kylo is the Supreme Leader. There are Force sensitive people out there.

Let me indulge you with a story I’d like to see in the next movie. And yes, after having finished writing my own version of Episode 9 I actually retconned TLJ quite a bit. Ah well… suck it Haters!

Ultimately we need Kyo to be defeated/redeemed and the Jedi to return SOMEHOW. Another possibility would be that Rey and Kylo cancel each other out as the two sides of the Force, leaving a blank slate for new Force sensitive people to start all over again. Very Matrix-y.

So let’s begin…

Let’s start with the best part of the new trilogy: Kylo Ren. He now is the main dude of the First Order, so what’s next for him? After Lukes passing, all that’s left to do is to beat or turn Rey. 

The film starts with a flashback to the night Luke tried to cut Kylo down. We can see the whole situation unravel with Kylo having an epic fight with Luke.  As Luke looks like he is winning, Ben turns to Snoke to bestow powers onto him. This would be the point where Kylo goes full Darkside and levels the whole Jedi training facility AKIRA style.

Standing in the ruins of the Jedi temple he gazes at the last 5 pupils that are still alive. He asks them if they are with him and they all nod. We get Snoke landing with a shuttle nearby picking them up. Snoke adresses Kylo telling him he is now ready to be properly trained.


Kylo wakes up from this fever dream and rushes to the command bridge. He orders Hux to travel to a certain star system where he boards his shuttle and descents on a dark planet. Yup fanboys: It’s Mustafar!

I always liked Kylo being a Vader fanboy so I’d bring that aspect of him back.

We see him walk through Vaders old citadel from Rogue One where he calls out for Vader, calling him a traitor for turning and dissing Luke and the Jedi. He is still super emotional about the dream, cursing out the full Skywalker lineage. We could even get a broken down room with the table Vader was crafted on in Episode 3.

Suddenly we get hisses and whispers and we get the force ghost of… Anakin! Yeah fuck it, bring Hayden back! Just make sure he has some good dialogue this time…

Anakin and Kylo have some heated convo about the strength of the dark side compared to the “goody-two-shoes” light side. Anakin goes: “Yeah but would you kill your OWN COUSIN after what you have done to your father and mother?” Kylo freezes then gives some stroppy “I’d kill ANYONE who’s in my way” speech and rushes to his shuttle. OH SHIT! Rey and Kylo are family after all.

We cut to Rey who is with the rest of the resistance on the Millennium Falcon. Leia is getting weaker after her space flight and seeing her brother die got her energy right down. She is on her death bed.

I don’t want to see CGI Leia again and I doubt they shot any scenes with her on Episode 9 so we need to say goodbye to Leia somehow, as hard as that seems.

Leia calls for Rey and she reveals to her that she is Lukes daughter. Leia felt it during her last encounter with Luke during TLJ. She dies holding Reys hand… ALL THE FEELS!

Listen! I do hate that everyone is related and connected in Star Wars as much as you do, but having Rey be a nobody isn’t very rewarding in an epic fantasy way, ok? And having the Solos and Skywalkers face off is kinda cool.

Now Poe enters the stage talking about rebuilding the resistance. At this point we could either go: Fuck the resistance, it’s Rey against Kylo. OR we have Poe, Finn and Rose try to motivate the old allies to join forces again so we can have a big ass final space battle.

I’d say Poe, Finn and Rose go on their rebel sidequest to gather whats left of the rebellion whilst Rey seeks out a planet to check out all the Jedi books in her stash. Maybe she can go to R2-D2 and fire up Lukes old map, retracing his path before he went into exile in Ireland.

So basically she fucks off and makes camp in an abandoned Jedi temple on some new planet where she reads the books and tries to train like Rocky IV in Russia: Damn low tech and a bit rubbish.

Cut to Kylo

He sits on Snokes throne, the door opens and Hux comes in. Informing him that he found “them”.

We cut to a shuttle landing on a planet. Kylo orders the troops to fall behind and walks into some dark alien jungle. He arrives at a derelict Sith temple and gets attacked by 5 shadowing figures. After beating them all after an epic battle one of them says: “So you returned!” Kylo lowers his saber and tells them that he needs their powers. The Knights of Ren are BACK!

Back on the star destroyer he tasks them to track down Rey and the Rebellion and to put their abilities to good use again. We now have some LOTR Nazgul situation where the Knights of Ren search the galaxy for Rey with they Force powers.

Cut to Rey

She is doing her thing in that abandoned Jedi temple, very reminiscent of her AT-AT homestead on Jakuu. Hell, she could even cook up a green “portion” again!

To cut a long story short: Force Ghost Luke appears and now we get that fucking training montage!

After her training is progressed enough he shows her how to craft her own lightsaber. She adds her own modifications and VOILA! We get Darth Mauls double bladed staff just with green blades as she used the kyber cristal from Lukes old weapon!

Meanwhile with the Rebels

Leia passed away, we get a funeral in the debris field of Alderaan. Leias death echoes through the galaxy. It’s the news of her death that reignites the rebellion! #neverforgetAlderaan

We have all these spaceships appear out of nowhere to join the fight and so we have some new toys we can blow up run the epic last battle. Poe is happy, BB-8 beeps and Finn and Rose hug. And Chewie just stands there with a Porg on his shoulder. Awwwwwwwwwwww…

Cut to Rey

We can have a Force chat with Kylo again where she tells him that he won’t find her. He just chuckles and says: “I just did.”

Five starships land and it’s the Knights of Ren. Ren puts all her Luke training to good use and we get an epic light saber battle where she cuts them all down. In the heat of the moment we see her loose control of her emotions and enjoys the killing a bit too much. This way we keep the ambivalence.

 Cool Knights of Ren concept art
Cool Knights of Ren concept art

After the fight is over she knows she needs to face off with Kylo and Luke urges her to always keep her dark side under control. She jumps in her vintage, beaten up star ship ( shall we reuse the Jedi Fighter from the Prequels? ) and flies to Kylo…

Now we got the resistance prepare for battle and Rey heading for Kylo.

So we get one last big fucking space battle! Everyone is running to their space ships. Only Chewie is sad because without Rey or Han he has no Co-Pilot. The hangar door opens and a shadowy figure says: “Maybe I can help with that”… LANDO IS BACK BABY!

We can have a bit of banter with Lando and Poe… “I hope you are still as good as my father told me you were” or something…

Rey of cause gets permission to land and we have a final battle that echoes ROTJ just without an Emperor.

After an epic fight their Force powers cancel each other out and implode the whole Jedi / Sith thing. Now that would be truly a balance of the Force! Plus further movies can reboot that situation anyway.

Sooo… both are out of it and without powers.

Kylo forgives Luke and we get some flashes of Ben, Han and Leia being a family. Rey drops her light saber and gets her moment with Luke. He says: “It’s about time I introduce you to your mother… Mary!” A second Force Ghost appears…

OH SHIT Mary Jade is canon now!

Meanwhile the resistance wins the space battle, enters Kylos Star Destroyer. Poe takes out Hux and the rebels win, yaaayyy!

Kylo and Rey both lost their force abilities. Kylo is still somehow mortally wounded and joins his mother and father in death because he has been such a naughty boy and can’t be allowed to survive the movie.

Rey goes back to Jakuu as “It’s sandy and horrible, but it’s home.”

If we want to be really cheesy we can see Finn and Rose dropping off broom boy from TLJ after they freed him and the other kids from slavery. As he runs back to his parents we see two suns rising on the horizon… implying that the circle starts again!

The End! 

PS: Oh and I’d call it: The Balance of the Force

Let me know in the comments below what you think about my story points! GENIUS, RIGHT?!

The Last Jedi: The Solaris Edit

Wow The Last Jedi really ruffled some feathers out there!!! It seems I am not the only one who thought the sequel sucked…

I think a big part of the disappointment is that it seemed that Rian Johnson wasn’t really interested in any of the set ups JJ Abrahams established in The Force Awakens (TFA). This made me think of the “Yes, and…” rule I was taught during Improv Theatre lessons: In order to keep a scene between two actors flowing you never interrupt the flow of a story by cutting it off. 

One should always acknowledge what came before and then add any new twists and turns by saying “Yes, and…”. I feel Rian Johnson was more like “Yes, and… FUCK THIS!”, trying to shake off the long shadow cast by JJ and Star Wars itself. This, if I am honest, could have been excused if the story he was telling was more kick ass and exciting. But I am still amazed why he chose to give the blandest characters a big side story, whilst throwing all exciting story beats from TFA out of the window.


So that kept me thinking about how I would have amended the story to make it work better…

So let’s get out the lightsabers and Porg cuddly toys and revisit this mess!

First, let’s start with the set up: 

There is a mystery around Reys parents and her Force abilities, there is the promise of seeing Snoke finish training Kylo, there is the massive cliffhanger with grizzled Jedi master Luke. We still have Chewie hanging around after the death of Han Solo and we need to deal with the tragic passing of Princess Leia herself. Finn is in coma with his back sliced open by Kylo, the Galactic Senate has been blown up and The First Order just lost their Deathst… ehhh Starkiller Base. There are whispers about the Knights of Ren and ancient Jedi lore.

Even writing down this list makes me pissed off that Johnson didn’t really deal with any of that!

Ok so let’s see what MY GENIUS BRAIN would have cooked up…

Let’s start easy.

First of all I would have addressed that Captain Phasma lowered the shields and allowed the rebels to blow up the most powerful weapon in TFA. She is a throwaway character anyway, so instead of having a lame fight with Finn we use her to show how badass Snoke is. I quite liked how Snoke kicked Hux around like a rag doll, so why not do a big ROTJ landing bay scene with Snoke infront of the First Order armies addressing the failure to protect Starkiller Base and making an example of Captain Phasma by killing her with some gruesome Darkside powers in front of everybody!

That would establish Snoke as a badass with powers never seen before and raise the intrigue what his deal is. I really enjoyed the fact that Darth Vader became this hero figure for Kylo, so why not get a bit of Darth Vader hero worship in there too with Snoke praising days of old, with the Empire in full swing. 

We can then continue with the attack on the Rebel Base. That fight against the Dreadnaught ship was awesome and I wouldn’t change a thing apart from making that female bomber pilot a nobody. She can still display mild Force powers to get the switch, establishing that the Force is with many different people, not just the Jedi. But no amulet rubbing, setting up the connection with Rose. BECAUSE THERE WON’T BE A ROSE!

Poe gets dressed down by Leia for wasting too many ships like in the movie, just with the difference that he get’s arrested for not following orders and thrown in lock down. YEP! Poe is out for the moment as his hot-headedness cost too many Rebel troops their lives.

Switch to Rey and Luke

I liked how he threw the lightsaber away so I am happy to roll with the whole “this dojo is closed” vibe. But as we know from similar situations in movies like Fight Club and Dr. Strange what needs to happen next: Rey needs to show some determination and commitment so swing Luke around. I like how she followed him around and how we see Lukes day by day. But: No funny alien nuns and no ugly alien with milk tits. Just kills the whole gravitas of the situation. I mean we are dealing with broken Luke Skywalker here!

So we have some back and forth and ultimately Luke tells Rey about the night Kylo fucked up his Jedi temple and bailed on him. Great opportunity to do a flashback scene, to go back to the time just after ROTJ: The death of his father aka Vader, the unrest after the fall of the Emperor, the birth of Kylo, Han bailing on Leia and Luke trying to re-establish the Jedi Order.

Luke tells Rey how Snoke crept into Kylos mind and corrupted him. This could be done similar to Sarumans corruption in LOTR… somehow Kylo finds a book or artefact that talks about the Dark Side and gets obsessed with it, hiding it from Luke. Maybe Luke himself was dabbling in the Dark Side and Kylo found a forbidden book or Sith artifact? As Kylo is still not over Han leaving him behind Snoke connects with his seeking spirit and whispers into his ear that he is not worth being loved and will get betrayed not only his father but his master also! This would explain why Kylo seeked Snoke after Luke tried to kill him.

We see the night of Kylo’s betrayal from Lukes view and Rey seems vindicated thinking that Kylo is a piece of shit!

Now we get some damn Jedi training, ok? Because Rey needs to be able to kick ass, and without at least some training this won’t fly. Luke can still be reluctant, yet fascinated. It can still end with Rey blowing some shit up and Luke getting a massive freak out like in the movie.

No mind talking between Rey and Kylo. We do that chatting later. At some point Rey leaves Luke disappointed and returns to the resistance.

Now if my memory serves me well we go back to the Rebels and that slow ass chase scene. Ok, so that whole set up was kinda stupid. So we skip all that.

After the jump the First Order attacks.

Kylo still leads the assault and he still doesn’t pull the trigger. The command bridge is still getting blown up. But the scene is played out way slower, with Admiral Ackbar trying to sort shit out but dying a heros death. Just before the command bridge implodes, Luke and Leia connect their minds and Luke tells Leia the famous lines from ROTJ that he always knew she had the Force as well. And that now in her last minutes she needs to let go and embrace it.

We get a damn tear jerking moment of Leia closing her eyes, feeling the Force, smiling and then getting sucked into space. That’s it! She’s gone.

We get see Luke meditating on Ahch-Cho, opening his eyes crying. YES IT’S A TEAR JERKER! The mental goodbye between Leia and Luke!

Rey arrives with the resistance, sees shit is fucked up. The attack left the last ships of the resistance floating in space, so Hux get’s a massive boner just toying with them. Kylo and Snoke have a moment and Snoke instructs Kylo to turn Rey to the Dark side. Kylo contacts the Rebels and tells them that Rey needs to meet him if she wants to save her friends on the remaining rebel spaceships.

NOW we have a waiting game as The First Order can only attack after Rey got turned. We get all the Kylo and Rey dialogues onboard Snokes spaceship. Kylo tells Rey his side of Lukes story and we get the info that Luke tried to kill him. SHOCK HORROR!

Cut back to the Rebels…

Finn wakes up and gets some badass cybernetic spine because his body was so mauled by Kylos lightsaber. Let’s not forget he was a Stormtrooper once and the fact they always play him for comic relief sucks. He can be funny, but he can’t be plain useless.

So whilst the Rebels await their doom, Finn breaks out Poe and they go on a BRO mission to get support from other fractions of the rebellio
n. So yeah… no Laura Dern and no Rose! They take the Millennium Falcon and manage to leave the Rebel fleet undetected with Chewie who is happy to go on an adventure just like in the good old days with Han!

Back to the bad guys…

Now we jump back to Kylo and Rey. It get’s revealed her parents didn’t matter, she breaks down and accepts to talk to Snoke as she feels she is lost with nowhere to go.

Snoke offers to show Rey her place in all of this and all three board a shuttle and fly down to a close planet. Oh what’s that weird citadel they land close to? Oh shit, it’s ancient Sith temple! BOOM!!!

In the meantime Hux is getting instructed to only attack the Rebels once Snoke returns.

On the planet, we get an insight into Sith lore and Sith training. With Kylo training Rey under the watchful eyes of Snoke. It get’s revealed that Snoke is an ancient being that neither believes in the Dark nor the Light, but tries to fuse both sides to gain ultimate power. He used to be a Sith apprentice that saw the weakness in the Dark side as much as in the Light side. A great moment to bitch about the lame Jedi and the weak Sith in the Prequels: “All they did was talking about trading agreements” Hahahaha, take THAT George!!!

Swipe back to Poe and Finn on their mission. No damn casino planet, no kids with broom handles, no cute CGI aliens! We are in a Jabbas Palace / Cantina situation: Dirt, danger and freaky aliens. Ultimately they start talking to some Mon Calamari. Poe tells them that Ackbar died and the Resistance is fucked. The Mon Calamari take Poe and Finn to a secret rebel base that has been dormant for years. Oh shit… it’s the water planet of Kamino! They build the Calamari resistance in the derelict Clone Trooper facility! Ok I know, we all don’t want to think about the Prequels, but they are canon and won’t go away! So we might as well try to make them retroactively cool! So if you rather wanna pick  Geonosis or a destroyed Naboo… be my guest!

After some motivational speech they dust off all the abandoned rebel tech and we have a strong rebel strike team going back to save the rebellion! Queue to some amazing Rebel ships from the Prequels and OG trilogy appearing out of the water ( they are supposed to be vintage anyway ) and heading towards the last rebel ships.

Switch to Snoke, Kylo and Rey on the Sith planet.

Kylo pretends to turn to the light and we get the epic Rey / Kylo team up, battling Snoke. Through fusing their powers they defeat him and we get a nice grisely death scene.

We cut back to Luke who feels Snokes death. We get a connection between Luke and Kylo as well where Luke feels Kylos burning rage. Luke sits meditating, not sure what to do. Now we get Force ghost Yoda, and they have a moment. Yoda calls out his pussy-ness and Luke sees that he has to wrap things up with Kylo himself.

We walks to the cliff and Force lifts his vintage X Wing fighter out of the damn sea!

Back to the Sith planet. They fly back to the First Order fleet and Rey thinks all is good. But Kylo just smirkes and tells her that with Snoke gone he can finally step into the footsteps of Vader and destroy the Rebellion!

We get some more dialogue between them where Kylo calls Rey weak and all the other insults a Dark Force user would hurl at a Jedi.

He walks onto the bridge and opens a channel to the Rebels, about to deliver an epic last dialogue. But guess who is on the bridge answering the call? FUCKING LUKE SKYWALKER!!!

Luke apologizes for being weak and failing him, for letting fear rule him. He urges Kylo to fulfill his destiny on the light side and talks about how he saved Vader. We get an epic flashback of the the scene in ROTJ where Luke lifts Vader helmet ( now that sounds wrong ).

Kylo gets super emotional and basically screams “destroy the Rebels once and for all”! Lasers fire, Tie Fighters attack… and Luke fucks them all up with some EPIC Force powers. Basically some crazy next level shit like in that Star Wars game where we see the Force push two Star Destroyers into each other. It needs to be completely a HOLY SHEEEET moment. This is where we could use that great Hyperjump Kamikaze effect… or something.

Just when Luke is at the end of his powers we get the Mon Calamari rebel fleet arriving and an epic space battle commences. Kylo chokes Rey and taunts Luke to come over if he wants to save his apprentice. Luke, visibly shaky, agrees.

Whilst the battle rages in space we get a showdown between Luke and Kylo, with Luke rocking his GREEN lightsaber. But as he used up all his powers he is no match for Kylo. We get the “If you strike me down” line and Luke does an Obi Wan Kenobi disappearing act with Kylo slicing right through him.

Back to the space battle…

The rebels are successful fighting off the First Order. Hux comes running to Kylo, telling him that a retreat is necessary.

We pan to Rey who is full of anger and rage, holding the smoldering cowl of Luke. When Kylo turns around we see her picking up Lukes lightsaber, attacking Kylo full blast. During the fight we see Rey totally giving into the Dark side, hammering down Kylo. After he lies on the floor begging for his life, we see Rey lifting her head and we get a close up of her Sith eyes. BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!

Cut to the Rebellion celebrating their victory, with the First Order disappearing into Hyperspace. Whilst everyone is cheering on the bridge, Finn looks to where the First Order disappeared and yells out: Rey!


Now tell me that would not be a better movie than what we have…

The Last Jedi: A Space Rant *With Spoilers*

Ok so I watched The Last Jedi today. I do love Star Wars so I was damn hyped, especially with all the rave reviews comparing this film to Empire Strikes Back and throwing 5 Stars all around. And when even Arthouse lovers like Mark Kermode and Little White Lies give the latest sequel the stamp of approval it feels warranted to get excited.

I must say I really, REALLY enjoyed The Force Awakens. I watched it four times in the cinema and it always held up. I didn’t mind that it was basically a rehash of A New Hope, I just enjoyed the fact that JJ managed to recapture the magic of Star Wars and wash away the bitter taste of the shitty prequels.

Yet I left the cinema today underwhelmed, and the longer I think about it the more I’m actually getting pissed off. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for giving new directors a shot at Star Wars and I am actually happy JJ didn’t do The Last Jedi. He is great with relaunching franchises, but not so great at continuing them. For example I really loved his Star Trek reboot, but hated the sequel Star Trek Into Darkness as it showcased that JJ is unable to craft anything new himself without clinging to the past.

“Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. It’s the only way to become who you meant to be.”

These wise words uttered by evil space emo Kylo Ren feels like the mantra director Ryan Johnson applied to directing this movie: The way he chopped off story threads and ended characters could be seen as daring, but for me it just felt like bad storytelling and a big fuck you to the audience. 

Don’t get me wrong, the movie was kinda ok. But exactly like Bladerunner2049 there was no new epicness and weight added to the already existing lore. Just a couple of jokes and cool effects.

Without getting too sophisticated here , let me just unleash my inner Dark Side and slice through this thing! Maybe we have to let the past die. Maybe we need to grow up and acknowledge that nothing will ever be as iconic as the original trilogy. Maybe we should just stop trying to chase that first high A New Hope gave us back in the days!

Let’s be honest: THE PREQUELS ALL SUCKED! They were a heap of smelly CGI turd. ALL OF THEM! They stained and damaged the glory of the original trilogy even more than the horrible meddling of George Lucas with the original films that came after! So actually I don’t care about Lucas anymore and his opinions about Star Wars.

The other thing that I need to get off my chest is the practice of trying to fix weak storylines and plot holes with a slew of accompanying books… FUCK THIS ALSO! Either you make the story work in the movies or GTFO! I am not excusing sloppy writing with “Duuude you should have read the Prequel Book… they totally explained it there!” BOLLOX TO THAT! 

After getting this off my chest let’s jump straight to the new movie and my grievances…





Ok so where do I start. Maybe with what I liked: I liked grumpy Luke, I LOVED the Yoda puppet. I love Kylo Ren and Rey. I love how they use practical effects and retro visuals to give us the Star Wars feeling back. And the Hyperspace Kamikaze attack from Vice Admiral Holdo had everyone in the cinema gasping. I loved how they explained why the always overacting doucebag General Hux was still kept around. So yeah, some nice touches there.


Unceremoniously killing off Snoke without giving any insight into his backstory or deal SUCKED.

Having Leia doing some Superman stuff by surviving in space and casually floating back to the starship SUCKED. Especially as there no intrigue. There was no build up and no explanation.

Having Luke basically not train Rey but a bit but not really but a bit again was so underwhelming and SUCKED.

Rey pointless decent into the “Evil Zone” to find… nothing? SUCKED

Finn SUCKED, Rose SUCKED and their whole adventure on that Prequel Casino Planet SUUUCKED and pulled me straight back into the nightmare that is the prequel trilogy. Oh and Phasma? SUCKED!

I’m tired of Poe doing his “hot headed pilot” thing in every scene he is in. I’m tired of Finn as he is basically the Jar Jar of this new trilogy: Completely pointless. And all this added on crap about animal cruelty, Roses family story and that totally forced romance… SUCK SUCK SUCK!

I’m tired of the whole “Oh they got weapon X, we need to blow it up!” “Damn, now they got weapon Y, we need to blow it up also!” Really dudes? Let me guess… does it have a weakness? Is there an exhaust pipe? DO WE NEED TO BLOW UP THE REACTOR CORE? Seriously: First it was the Dreadnaught ship, then it was the tracking device and ultimately it was that gun on the fake Hoth planet. YES! HOTH! Just because you mix some red in there it doesn’t distract from the fact that you ripped off Empire!

 Gorilla AT ATs on Hoth
Gorilla AT ATs on Hoth

More? Ok…

Reys “Put a shirt on” joke in the middle of an intriguing scene SUCKED

The wannabe funny alien nuns on Lukes Planet SUCKED.

All the new ship designs SUCKED too. Seriously… no iconic shapes, everything blocky and whatever. 


Damn that looked tasty…

So what would I have liked better? What was my expectation?

I would have liked to know more about Snoke and the goal of The First Order apart from just being evil. At least the Emperor had the Sith thing going. But Snoke? Who was this guy? What was his connection to the Force? Wasted…

Same for Rey. I would have enjoyed some Jedi training, some insight into the Jedi culture. Some cool Luke monologues. Same goes for Kylo Ren. So how come he turned? Why was he in contact with Snoke although he trained with Luke? How did he grow up during the time after the Emperor was defeated. How did the First Order form? And where are the Sith in all of this?

I fear there is really nothing deeper here then some cheap story beats and killing off the legendary characters of our childhood. I fear that the next sequel will make it painfully obvious that there hasn’t been a strong vision for a story arch that’s unfolding in a satisfying manner over the time of a trilogy.

Talking about a satisfying trilogy: Each part of the original movies added new and exciting characters and story beats. So much iconic material! Maybe certain films just have their time. Trying to recreating the magic will ultimately fail.

If The Force Awakens felt like rekindling a love affair with a past lover, The Last Jedi feels like the week after where you realize you are clinging onto some old emotions of the past and it’s time to move on.

So maybe we Nerds need to let the past die. Accept that what has been will never come back.

I do want the new movies to be good, I want them to succeed. But the Last Jedi didn’t feel like it opened the mythology up, it felt like it shut it down in the most nihilistic way possible.

Anyway… let’s see how they wrap it all up in two years.

May the Force be with us until then!

Star Wars nothing but Star Wars…

When I started writing this blog post it was meant to be a celebration of the movie series that means so much to so many people. Now I feel it’s an eulogy for maybe the biggest star that shines in the Star Wars universe: Princess Leia and the actress that created her feisty wit and princess prowess: Carrie Fisher.

I am sure I am not the only guy out there who’s first crush was Leia in A New Hope. But although she was very pretty she never felt like eye candy and a damsel in distress. Being it choking out Jabba or trash talking Vader, she was badass and could handle her business! 

I feel sad that Carrie Fisher had such a rocky life, being haunted by the one role that defined her acting career. Seeing her back in The Force Awakens was great and *SPOILER* even her CGI likeness in Rogue One made me misty eyed and brought me right back to my childhood.

Leia set the bar when it comes to female leads and I am more than happy to see this tradition continued with great kickass female heroes like Rey and Jyn.

It’s weird to feel this way about the passing of somebody you never knew who played a fictional character in a fictional movie. I felt the same when MCA from the Beastie Boys lost his battle with cancer: You suddenly realize how much this person  (that you never met) contributed to your life’s journey. And as much as I listened to the Beastie Boys my whole life did Star Wars provide the movies and collectibles from my early childhood all the way to now! So let’s dry those tears and celebrate Carrie Fisher’s life and the biggest franchise in this damn solar system…

It’s actually hilarious to see just how many of my friends gift Star Wars toys their kids this Christmas, as if trying to make up for the shortcomings of their parents back in the days. The Force is still strong in this one! 

So what is it that makes these flicks so iconic and different? Let me mention the things that I feel made Star Wars catch lightning in a bottle…

A lived in universe

Until Star Wars came along life in space has been either about glittery camp aliens, squeaky clean star ship interiors or freshly pressed space suits. Star Wars felt more like a filthy Spaghetti Western made by Sergio Leone than a clean cut John Wayne Hollywood production. The colour palette was muted, life on dusty desert planets was as dusty as it could be and star ships looked beaten up and bolted together.

When I saw this promo shot of Ewan McGregor in a film from 2015 I instantly thought: Now THAT’S the Ben Kenobi I wanted to see in the prequels!

So less this… and more THAT!

JJ Abrahams putting the dust and dirt back into The Force Awakens with puppets, built sets and interiors really brought back that sweet Star Wars feeling to me.

Amazing design

Talking about how the flicks look… EPIC!

Whilst most other Sci Fi movies tried to either impress with outrageous and over the top designs, Star Wars kept it precise: Very much like Braun or Apple, the design teams crafted space ships, weapons and armour that was sleek and minimalist yet instantly iconic.

From the impressive Imperial fleet, the Rebel X Wings, the Stormtrooper Helmets to Boba Fetts Slave One: Each piece of the Star Wars universe felt meticulously crafted regarding shape, colour scheme and amount of weathering.

A huge part in all this played concept artist Ralph McQuarrie who designed many of the original characters and created stunning artwork that I would hang on my wall in a second.

Another designer with a powerful impact was Joe Johnston, who later became a movie director in his own right, crafting movies like The Rocketeer, Jumanji and Captain America: The First Avenger. Back in the days at Lucasfilm he worked alongside McQuarrie and designed most of the amazing star ships and vehicles.

A honorable mention must go out to Doug Chiang who replaced Ralph McQuarrie as concept designer on the prequels. And as much as I don’t like the films themselves, I must give credit for the lush designs of the pod racers, naboo fighters and Queen Amidala’s all chromed out pimp ship! Plus his work as Creative Director on Rogue One was great!

Cooler fanboys

Unlike Star Trek, somehow Star Wars attracted the cooler nerds: Being it Japanese Streetwear don NIGO, MoWax head honcho James Lavelle or any Graphic Designer in the 90ties who incorporated Star Wars visuals into their designs to make things look cooler… it wasn’t only the IT Crowd that got super obsessed about the battle amongst the stars! ( Yes I know Pharrell and the Beasties prefer Star Trek … shush! )

 A sticker sheet by MoWax records
A sticker sheet by MoWax records

 AD-AD urban vinyl toy by Bill McMullen ( via Kidrobot )
AD-AD urban vinyl toy by Bill McMullen ( via Kidrobot )

 Street Art by Invader
Street Art by Invader

“Berry Meditation” UNKLE album cover

 Toymaker The Sucklord ( via Village Voice )
Toymaker The Sucklord ( via Village Voice )

 Boba Fett by KAWS
Boba Fett by KAWS

The most iconic characters in the universe!

Han Solo, Luke, Princess Leia, Chewie, Yoda, Darth Vader, Boba Fett, Jabba the Hutt, R2D2… the list of iconic characters, droids and aliens is endless. As much as I like Star Trek too, their alien back catalogue doesn’t even come close to all the crazy critters that inhabit the Star Wars galaxy… 

Most of these character designs can again be credited to the design genius of Ralph McQuarrie. Good to know he got his moment to shine as well playing General McQuarrie in The Empire Strikes Back. You can find his toy in the Star Wars section in aisle 4, thank you…

 It's the dude in the middle
It’s the dude in the middle

Another fan favorite was created by Joe Johnston: Boba Fett, the flyest Bounty Hunter of them all. That Mandalorian armour still looks so damn BADASS!

We all know he escaped the Sarlacc pit so let’s hope they get the Boba Fett standalone movie right! I wonder how much they have to bend the story after that clone origin debacle in the the prequels… oh well.

Until then my favourite toy artist The Sucklord has to keep Boba P.I.M.P.

Practical effects baby!

Mixing practical effects and real locations gave the saga a weird sense of realism even when it was set in a galaxy far, far away.

Abandoning this approach really betrayed the prequels in my opinion, as the CGI and clean look just didn’t feel Star Wars to me.

The Force Awakens had some very obvious puppetry going on and somehow that made it feel more tangible. BB-8 was properly build and that they even did Rey’s weird green muffin bread as a practical effect really showed the commitment to the cause!

Ta TA, ta ta ta TAAA TAAAA!

Just like in the James Bond franchise, the music and it’s classic themes helped elevate Star Wars to another level of greatness. The Main Theme. the Imperial March, that Cantina Band Spacejazz… Star Wars just wouldn’t be the same without it! Fist bump to John Williams for lacing some dope stringz, yo.

Of cause there have been some awesome musical spin offs as well. Collect `em all!

Whilst we are on the topic of Star Wars soundtracks… how great is this etched holographic vinyl release of The Force Awakens? 


G’damn light sabers!

Hell yes!!!

Even before Kylo Ren pimped up his tool of the trade with an added hilt lightsabers were the coolest shit ever! The glow, the hissing sound and the ability to cut through metal doors like a hot knife through butter… no other space weapon comes close!

My favorite lightsaber fight actually happens in the prequels: When that second blade came out… oh my! I really wish they wouldn’t have killed off Maul in The Phantom Menace so quickly. Such a waste of good Sith…

Buy buy buy!!!

As every bit of the SW universe was already designed to a T it was easy to translate the starships and characters into a range of toys who looked awesome as well. Somehow Kenner managed to create some great packaging on top of it which would soon become iconic in its own right. Now spice things up with multiple variants of the same figure and you whip collectors into a frenzy! 

Much of the Star Wars merch obsession of millenials can be traced back to either having sold off their collections for peanuts on the local flea market or silly parents decluttering the attic at the end of the 80ties. OH THE PAIN!

How cool are these vintage Clarks x Boba Fett sneakers?!


These lost treasures were never forgotten, and with Lucasfilm pumping out more films there is no shortage of SW obsessives trying to re-buy their childhood and heal the mental scarring of their youth.

Again to be fair to the prequels, I still have fond memories of this Naboo royal starship blockade cruiser playset which was gifted to me from my uncle in America back in 1999. Oh the fun when the package arrived , beeping like crazy as some of the postal workers managed to trigger all the sound fx buttons at the same time…

Last but not least: Crazy shit that stays with you

There is something said for grossing out your audience: They will never forget it! Being it Jabbas slimy perv tongue or that carnivorous Rancor beast in that pit munching on exotic dancers… there always were these awesome gross out moments during the original trilogy that added a little bit more spice to the proceedings!

Jabba wants kissy kissy!

Ewww floss your teeth bro!

After a run in with this fellow Han had to stuff Luke into the carcass of his trusty Tauntaun, warming him with it’s intestines… GROSS! And inspiration for the best sleeping bag ever…

 via ThinkGeek
via ThinkGeek

So these are my thoughts on the topic. And with a new movie getting released every year now it never has been a better time to be a Star Wars geek! Or run for the hills in horror…

I personally will always love Star Wars, even when I start looking like this old geezer below with all that grey in the beard!

It’s a shame General Leia will not be part of the journey going forward. Carrie Fisher, you will be missed! And in the words of Space IP Man Donnie Yen:

I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me…

Star Wars Celebration London 2016: Episode 2

Welcome back for some more chit chat about Star Wars Celebration! Check out Part 1 of my report here where I talk about the Rogue One exhibition and my initial impressions.

After soaking in the general atmosphere and convention facilities it was time to get a little bit more involved in the actual convention floors. Star Wars was the first movie franchise that had a successful merchandise machinery attached to it and it more than showed: 90% of the convention space was crammed full of sellers trying to get their wares to the Star Wars obsessives.

Now I really have conflicted feelings about this side of Star Wars: On the one hand do I love the product design of the Star Wars films, and collecting the toys during my childhood brings back fond memories. So I am all for being able to buy some awesome convention exclusives!

On the other hand do I feel that the tidal wave of Star Wars related stuff can be overwhelming and abuses the dedication of Star Wars fans to rinse their pockets with yet another variant, special colourway or even a weird product that has nothing to do with the films apart from having a picture of Chewbacca on the packaging.

Sometimes I feel like this: Whipped into submission by the Lucasfilm marketing machine…

Disclaimer: I am a collector myself and the fact that Star Wars rinses the franchise for what it’s worth is hardly a new thing. Yet seeing the sheer amount of Star Wars stuff in one place at the same time really had my head spinning. I had the same reaction when I visited Tokyo in 2007: Too much of a good thing all at the same time.

Still,  there was a lot of awesome toys out there and I would be lying if I say I didn’t check it all out! I am a big fan of the Tamashii Nations Movie Realization figures that give the toys a Japanese spin and I do have a weak spot for Star Wars Christmas decorations also…

This backpack scared me a little bit though:

One bit that felt a bit cash grabby to me was the badge swapping scheme that happened all around me: The badges were sold in packs of 4 and ( from how I understood it ) did you have to swap them with fellow fans to get your hands on all the different designs. Nothing wrong with that, that’s quite fun! Just the initial price tag of £22 per pack of 4 really felt steep to me as you needed to buy more and more badges to be able to swap!

So do I assume correctly that each 4 badges, bought or swapped, have a value of £22?! If yes then this man has a lot of money hanging around his neck…

So preparing a costume, buying a day convention ticket, food, drinks and merchandise purchases made a day out at Celebration quite expensive! Although I didn’t consume much and kept purchases down I spend around £250 all in. Ouch!

Another downer was that the big panels were extremely quickly sold out. I didn’t even try to get into any as I was aware that I would have had to queue from 6am in the morning to get a wristband to be able to see Mark Hamill or Carrie Fisher live on stage. 

It wasn’t so much of a biggie to me but I was talking with some disappointed fans who travelled from far to get to the Celebration and who missed out on the big panels. For the high price tag on the Celebration tickets it would have been cool to make the experiences of the main hall panels more accessible. And I don’t mean just on YouTube!

Talking about seeing your heroes: Having Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Anthony Daniels and many other original Star Wars actors attending to take pictures and sign autographs was pretty awesome. Still, another bit of money that needed to be budgeted for as these opportunities didn’t come cheap!

Ah LEIA! I was very tempted to get close to my favorite enslaved Space princess, yet I felt it would be weird to have an elderly lady signing pictures of her skimply clad beach bod in a gold bikini with me drooling all over it! Sometimes you should not meet your heroes, so I decided not to give into the dark side of the force and save myself £80…

The most expensive player in the autograph / signature game was of cause Luke Skywalker himself: Charging £145 for a picture and £135 for an Autograph, Luke’s gotta eat!

Still I must admit that Mark Hamill looks like he is giving it his all and really connects with the fans so that’s cool. Plus I am digging the 80ties school picture set up with that marbled background!

Shout out to @alex_rattray_ink, @sasha508 and @simba_1891 for the Instagram pictures!

Another thing to indulge in at Star Wars Celebration was the massive tattoo section. Seeing a row after row of fans getting their favorite character inked by a tattoo artists dressed in full imperial uniform was a sight to behold!

Whoever got that Jar Jar motiv inked gets my maximum respect. Loving the tattoo of Kylo Ren from the Undercover Boss SNL skit as well!

Here are the  two most impressive tattoos I spotted wondering around: First, this lady who got her son inked in full Han Solo uniform…

…and @jeanett_diaz with her Leia Organa dedicated back! Nuff respect to Norway…

As it was the last day of Celebration thing closed down pretty quick around 5PM, so rebels and stormtroopers alike had to shuffle towards the train station to return back to our solar system. What a day! 

Would I go again? Yes I would, but maybe a bit better prepared, as this time I stumbled into all of this quite spontaneously.

My take away from all this is that being really really into something can be a great thing and it can be a weird thing if you fall too deep into the rabbit hole. It’s an inner battle for sanity I have to fight everyday myself so no judgement from me here as where that line of sanity is drawn! One love to everybody I met!

See you at a Rogue One screening when that film finally comes out and… May the Force be with you… always!

Star Wars Celebration London 2016: Episode I

Conventions like this have a weird effect on me: On the one hand am I very attracted to go to such geek-fests, on the other hand do I still try to tell myself that I am a grown up man ( hahaha, I know! ) and I should rather do stuff like get a mortgage and play squash with my hedge-fund manager.

Whatever, having avoided Cons in the past I thought Star Wars Celebration is the right place to pop my convention cherry, especially as I had a friend and fellow Star Wars obsessive attending as well.

Listen to the Light Side of the Force, you must…

Researching the event I felt pretty giddy and excited: People from all over the world were heading to London to feel The Force! As my ordered trooper helmet didn’t arrive in time I had to brave the celebration of a galaxy far, far away bare as God created me: Wearing shorts and a Hawaiian shirt!

On the way to the event I ran into the first people who made a bigger effort than me outfit wise: There is just something special about seeing Queen Amidala waiting for the tube in Shadwell.

It’s just great to be able to geek out with fellow Star Wars fans without having to worry about getting anybody up to speed first! There is just nothing worse than trying to have a proper SW conversation with a mate who has no clue about the subject matter. Now this will NEVER happen at Celebration: No apologies, no regrets, just full on Star Wars geekdom at it’s peak. THUMBS UP!

After a quick touchdown with my Star Wars homie Jools aka The Real Boba Fett™ I did what every self respecting nerd does: Head towards the official merch store to get some special celebration items!

After another bit of queueing where I mingled with some fellow Star Wars fans from Germany I entered the official Celebration store area. After a quick scan of the goods on display I quickly picked my favorites. Top of the list: An official Celebration T Shirt. Classic! Nice touch: Each shirt was hand screen printed before your own very eyes!

Another bit of hot merch: The Force Awakens holographic vinyl double album. More on this topic over on Dj Foods blog. Let’s just say it has a Tie Fighter and Millenium Falcon hoovering above the vinyl when you play it, alright?

The other, more unexpected piece of merch was a 10″ picture disc of the Star Wars song “Jabba Flow”, remixed by none other than Rick Rubin and A-Track! As the cover art of LSD Kylo Ren ( with BB-8 on the flip ) just looks great so it ended up in my bag.

Then  it was time to hit the exhibition floor. I didn’t bother with trying to get into any of the panels as the tickets to see Mark Hamill or Carrie Fisher speaking on the main stage where long gone. So I just jumped head first into two halls full of Star Wars-ness…

Oh… balls. Space Balls that is!

Some casual outfits on display…

Hey! Who are these two jokers?

I think Disney buying Lucasfilm  was the best thing that could have happened to Star Wars and I am more than psyched for the new movie(s). Donnie Yen kicking Stormtrooper butt? Hell yes! The newly released sizzle reel for Celebration 2016 really had me hyped. Can’t wait…

Another thing was the Rogue One costume exhibition. Man, that white Imperal outfit with the cape? #starswag! Who cares about Yeezys…

Talking about outfits… I do believe the white outfit of main Rogue One baddie Director Krennic has been inspired by one of the most beloved Expanded Universe characters who just made it back into the official canon: General Thrawn. Who? THRAWN! …the blue guy, ok? *sighs*

I just love the feisty look on that kids face! Some people thought Rey was too kickass in The Force Awakens, I personally think it was just the right amount. All the Rey cosplay around the convention seems to support my statement! Can’t wait to see her kick Kylo’s butt after some training by Master Luke himself…

If I am honest, the thing that entertained and amazed me most attending Celebration was the commitment of all the fans who came down in full costume from all over the globe to connect and have fun. When I visited the booth of the Norwich Star Wars Club and checked out the patches on the wall I saw how far the global commitment to Star Wars truly reaches! Plus: #patchgamestrong

There is much more to say about Star Wars Celebration 2016… so stick around for Episode 2 coming soon to a blog to you in a galaxy far, far away!

Now I need to take a quick break to go to Toshi station… to get some power converters… 

Suckadelic — A New Hope

I have no idea how I got into all this but somehow I managed to enter the twisted world of Suckadelic bootleg toys, ruled by Morgan Phillips aka The Sucklord, and started collecting his bootleg toys around 2005.

The super funny twists on Star Wars and pop culture in general appealed to me straight away plus the fact that The Sucklord hand crafts each toy in his secret base in Chinatown NYC really set it apart from the other Designer Toys I was used to.

This really felt underground and exciting, especially as his other references apart from Star Wars were Hip Hop, Streetwear and Graffiti.

After visiting his workshop in New York I knew I had to interview this guy! So here we are.

Enjoy this exchange which happened via email in 2007…

Hi Sucklord! I can’t believe Suckadelic is still a one man operation! How does the Sucklord find the time to do all the designing, supervising and pimping of Suckadelic?

I don’t fucking know, to be honest. I wonder about that all the time. I guess because it’s my job, my hobby, and my leisure time all at once. It’s all I do (almost). It’s lots of late hours and time saving corner cutting that keeps it going (somehow).

Plus I’m a fucking obsessive maniac and super organized…

Peeps might associate Suckadelic mostly with the small bootleg figures. Now you just released the first suckadelic rotocast with mad accessoires. Can you shed some light on the design and production process?

Ahh, it was nothing special. I just grabbed a blob of sculpey and hewed it out. then I made some molds and casted the pieces. then I did some finishing and simple tooling on the castings. I sent that to the factory in China along with the color specs. After that it was a bunch of back and forth with them fussing on details for a few months. Then one day all of a sudden they just showed up.

With Lucas milking the Star Wars franchise to the fullest, a lot of old school fans feel screwed over. What are your feelings towards the prequels and the soon to be produced live action tv series?

Well, they aren’t very good for the most part, but I still love them for what they are. I mean they look great and they feel like Star Wars movies overall. There are some really choice bits in all three that I love. But I am really sorry that the storytelling is very lackluster.

I mean the story itself is great, but the execution is really bad, shockingly so. And it didn’t have to be that way. But I’m still happy they exist. I like watching them. If you are really committed to Star Wars, you find a way to love them.

The Suckadelic geek universe expanded massivly… with mad villains popping up everywhere. Can you shed some light on the backgrounds of Suckadelic regulars like Spooky Booty, Mary Papers and Crimson Suicide?

I just grab people around me and put them in the story. I don’t have a life outside of this thing that I do. If you are my friend, you wind up in a movie as a character with a figure. That’s what my friendship is.

These people that get close to me get a mask and a new name and their existing personality traits get slightly hyperized and that’s it. You get in where you fit in. These just happen to be the main women in my life, so there they are, supervillains.

The Sucklord always rocks the mad bling and ghetto blaster… and you keep on releasing breaks CDs mashing up various TV and Movie shit too. How important is Street culture to the style of Suckadelic?

It’s pretty important. I think that’s what sets it apart from other nerd worlds. the presence of hip hop and sneaker culture and cute girls. These are things you don’t necessarily associate with geeky comic book kids. It’s that literacy with both worlds that gives this thing it’s unique flavor and frame of reference. I mean, we’re from New York, even the nerds here are dope and get laid.

That’s what sucked me into the whole Suckadelic world actually. I feel that a lot of people might even envy geeks if they wouldn’t dress so crap. Because geeks care and know what they like and don’t like. A lot of hipsters just jump from one bandwagon to the other and don’t get excited by anything.

True. The nerds have way more passion. There is no reason why you can’t get excited about toys and movies and still dress cool and get girls. Hipsters are no fun, they hate everything.

Looks like Suckadelic has the first proper MC as well… give us some lodown on Vectar!

Oh yeah, Vectar, what’s his deal? We’ll he’s just some bottom shelf villain who is trying to come up. He and the Sucklord have had kind of rocky relationship. Vectar has done a lot of uncredited dirty work for the Sucklord and he’s sick of it. He’s tired of toiling in the shadows. It’s tough to best the Sucklord but the one thing he doesn’t do is rap. So Vectar is trying to distinguish himself in that field. Jury’s still out on weather the world is gonna go for him as a rapper, but ya gotta give it to the little cockroach for trying.

You guys keep on crashing conventions, thinking about that Vectar gig at the San Diego Comic Con. How is the response from the geeks? I mean, a lot of people take Conventions and Cosplay crazy serious and might feel you guys are trying to make fun of the whole thing…

Nah, no one gives a fuck. There are so many people at those things it’s getting harder and harder to make a dent. The effects of that rap show wore off in like 30 minutes. You got to keep hitting them over and over for them to even think about weather they are insulted. We’re gonna keep trying though…

Talking about commitment… what Tattoo did you get signed by Geekfather Stan Lee on that random pic I found on the net? Plus, how was the experience? Some people say it can be pretty shattering to meet ones heros…

Ehh, it was a Green Goblin tattoo. I was kind of over him by the time I met him. He let so much crap movies go by with his brand on it that I didn’t even care anymore. Love the classic comics, the Jack Kirby era, but all the movies suck, in my opinion, Yes, even Spider-Man.

Back to Suckadelic’s bootleg mash up style. How hard is it for a proper fan and collector to pick rare figures apart to create your artworks and figure prototypes?

No problem at all. I mean I haven’t really bashed anything too rare. I just buy a loosie off Ebay if I don’t want to chop my original. I play with my toys, so it doesn’t bother me to hack em up. Been doing it forever…

Looks like the big names getting into the Star Wars bootleggin’ game
as well…any thoughts on the KAWS Vader?

The Kaws piece is cool, but to me it’s more about his style than a direct riff on Star Wars. He is all about putting his skull and bones in all kinds of settings, the mickey mouse etc… Star Wars is just one more stop on the cultural reference train. I’m not knocking it, I like it, but that piece is not really about star wars so much as Kaws…

You collaborated with other artists like Bill Mc Mullen and exhibited in places like Alife in NYC. How did you hook up with them?

I don’t know, Just hanging out. You make friends, One thing leads to another…

What does the future hold for the Sucklord… any crazy shit in the pipeline for 2008?

Well yeah, what else am I gonna do? Stop now and go straight? Can’t do it. have to make crazy shit. Not sure specifically what it is yet. but I’m gonna keep making these bootleg 3 and 3/4″ figures for at least another year. I have about 10 more characters planned. Vectar will have one as well as his pals the Crystal Pharoah and Baron Darkowl.

Not sure if I’m gonna rush to make another vinyl. It’s cool having it, but I wonder if it’s worth the financial risk unless you have a really hot idea. Right now I’m not sure if any of the dozens of ideas for the next one are gonna fly with the fickle buying public. We’ll see.

Gonna keep the videos coming tho. There is a new Original Villain series that will start in 2008. It’s called, for now, TOY LORDS of CHINATOWN. It tells the backstory of the Sucklord and Vectar’s rivalry and their struggle to control the bootleg toy racket in New York. We have been shooting a bunch of stuff with lowrider bikes and lazer shootouts in Coney Island. It seems like it’s gonna be a fun series.

Music wise, I dunno. Maybe a Vectar album? I’m sick of the Star Wars breakbeats style albums. I want to make music that I can perform.

And finally… what are your top 5 Star Wars toys?


1) the 1978 cantina creatures esp Greedo (also R5-D4 and power droid, that whole series)

2) Vintage Giant Boba Fett

3) Force Battlers Emperor Palpatine

4) Kenner AT-AT

5) Almost all of the Galactic Heroes series (the bad guys anyway)

Thanks! Check out and get your mind blown!